mousewords

I had a moment of enlightenment this evening. And I choked on it.

I was standing at a window, pondering a decision I had to make. As too often happens with me, I was waffling between one option and another—and the less risky option was winning.

With the thought still fresh in my mind, I turned to get a drink from the water cooler. As I poured a glass of room-temperature water, I glanced up at the calendar that hung on the wall. The Bible verse said, “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:9)

The verse was especially meaningful to me at that moment, with my insecure thoughts. But I let the words roll off my consciousness, returning to the thought of my “safe” decision, as I raised the glass of water to my lips.

One swallow was all it took—instant choke. For some unknown reason, I can not drink tepid liquids—my throat seizes up, and I’m left coughing and gasping for breath.

In mid-wheeze, another Bible verse suddenly appeared in my mind: “Because you are lukewarm—–neither hot nor cold—–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” (Revelation 3:16)

Whoa.

I had been studying my decision from a decidedly lukewarm point of view. I knew exactly what I wanted, but didn’t think it was possible, so was resigning myself to settling for less. I was being lukewarm—and if I admitted the truth to myself, I approached far too many other daily decisions in the same way.

I caught my breath and looked out the window again. What would happen if, just this once, I cast aside the tepid option and went all-out, full-tilt for the choice that required all my fire, enthusiasm, and confidence? The potential for failure was huge. But like the quote says:

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

I know what I’m going to do.

So how about you?

Are you hot or not?

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© 2008 Christine Taylor

Tags: Faith, Inspiration, Personal, Quotes by mousewords
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I’m continuing toward my goal of writing 50,000 words of fiction in June for the Southern Cross Novel Challenge! I’ve had a lot of ups and downs this past week, with many exciting moments.

However, I’ve been remiss in posting blogs lately…the latest episode (at the top) tells why. It took me two videos and a good amount of Kleenex to explain.

Day 26 – Origins, Part 1

Day 26, and I explain the origins of my novel–and something of my own life’s story.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiJWwxi7CoY]

Origins, Part 2
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-BD8QpbuCY]

Day 21 – Environment

Day 21 of the Southern Cross Novel Challenge–a day when I realize that environment has an effect on the words I write.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62Ojj0BlVXE]

Day 19 – Dreams Come True

Day 19 of SocNoC–and I’m seeing the goal within reach!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oax6GaOfU6Y]

Day 16 – We’re Halfway There

Day 16 of the Southern Cross Novel Challenge–halfway to the end of the month, and halfway through the goal of writing 50,000 words of fiction!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df8r6Evaass]

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© 2008 Christine Taylor, All Rights Reserved

Tags: Carbon Monoxide Awareness, Faith, Inspiration, Internet, Journal, News, Personal, Video, Writing by mousewords
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I was writing at Starbucks for the day. The internet wasn’t free, so I decided not to go online—I thought I would probably get more work done that way. I planned to write blog posts; but I soon found that neither my flash drive nor my laptop contained the drafts I intended to finish. My drafts are backed up in email, but I didn’t think it was worth the time or effort to log on. So, instead, I organized some story files, then decided to go through the blog drafts I did have.

I opened the first file in a series of three that I had jotted down, but never developed—a “Goal Quest” series. I didn’t feel particularly qualified to guide others on their goal quests today, but I opened it anyway.

I was facing a short paragraph that confronted me with an unexpected challenge:

“Get away by yourself to a quiet place, and take a good look at your life. What is your purpose? What do you want to accomplish? Write down everything that comes to mind, and study the list. What is important to you? What do you want to do?”

I had written the words weeks ago, but I never expected myself to be the audience. Shocked, I took in my surroundings. Cool and sunny, peaceful if not silent. Quiet. I had nothing else to work on, so I started writing down the answers to my questions. I finished with this:

~~I want to live independently and freely

~~I want to drive my own transportation; go where I want whenever I want

~~I want to write and create freely in a peaceful, relaxing environment

~~I want to live the most I can live, without limitations of worry, health, or fear

~~I want to be free to be myself

I saved the document, looked out the window for a minute, and wondered—How? I felt the vague notion that I needed action steps for my goals. I thought perhaps taking action steps would prepare me for the time when the goals become reality. So I opened a new note and began typing the first goal that came to mind:

Goal: Buy/Lease a mini SUV

Action steps: Practice driving

I stopped there. It felt aimless. Preparing is good, but how do I achieve what I’m preparing for? Feeling a sense of the ludicrousness of the situation, I opened up the second document in my Goal Quest series. Maybe I had some pointers for myself, I thought.

The first thing on the page was James 1:6-7:

“But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord.”

A beautiful tune began playing in Starbucks then–I could only half-hear it. I caught the words, “Got in her car…”

I looked out window again, watching all the mini SUVs fly past. Two young women, one pushing a stroller, appeared to my right, walking along the sidewalk in front of me. I thought of the future, of having a family. Facing all these goals I had just written, the goals I wanted so much, I reflected that my lack of faith is what’s crippling me. I can’t see how to achieve what I desire most. I feel like I’ll be stuck here forever. I panicked at the helplessness.

I turned to the Lord on a cry of my heart: “How??”

My eyes fell on the young woman who was now at my left. She was pulling her sweatshirt jacket over her shoulders, and suddenly I saw the words printed across the back in big, bold letters:

DO WORK

“Oh, God,” I whispered as tears stung into my eyes. “Oh, God.” I’ve been hearing the word “work” for months, in answer to my pleas. I know the work I need to do, and I’ve been trying to do it. But I still feel frozen by fear and doubt…doubt that it will accomplish anything. Doubt that I can accomplish anything.

I let the feeling soak in–the feeling of hearing God speak. And then my ears caught a few more words from the quiet song in the background:

“You’ll never be alone, no matter what. You’re going to be okay.”

I cried all the more. It’s the answer to all my prayers. The key I need to unlock the future I desire so much. I will work, and God will make magic out of it. Somehow, for the first time, the realization sank in. I believed it.

The future is now.

I left Starbucks, and walked back into my busy life with a new, soul-stirring sense of peace and security. God will make it work.

Pop picked me up, and as he turned the ignition, the car radio came to life in the middle of an advertisement for the new “Chronicles of Narnia” movie, which debuts this weekend. I heard Liam Neeson’s rich voice–as the character of Aslan the Lion, who represents Christ–ask:

“Are you prepared for the wonder that awaits you?”

Yes, Lord. Yes.

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Tags: Faith, Inspiration, Journal, Musings, Personal, Quotes, Writing by mousewords
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As I awoke this morning, my thoughts filled with a certain dream of mine. Not the singing-the-National-Anthem at-a-Dodgers-game in-your-skivvies kind of dream. The goal-in-your-heart kind of dream. The one that fills your waking hours, and sometimes seems as unlikely to occur as the Nation Anthem solo.

This was a morning when the dream seemed far from being achieved…mostly because of my own shortcomings, as I see them. It can take a long time to wait for a dream. After a while, waiting becomes the status quo; and it begins to seem as if the dream will never be anything more than its name.

I turned over to take up my Bible for morning meditation. As I did, my eyes fell on a Dasani water bottle on my nightstand. Sunlight filtered through the semi-transparent label, catching my attention with a beautiful blue-green color. I had a passing thought that it would be a lovely color to use in one of my art pieces; then picked up my Bible, said a prayer, and opened to a random page.

Nothing is ever random in God’s universe. I found myself looking at Ezekiel 39:8: “It is coming! It will surely take place, declares the Sovereign Lord. This is the day I have spoken of.”

A little ripple of shock, followed by excitement, went through my heart. The Lord had heard me, and was telling me that my dream would come true. It reminded me of the Daily Word devotional for this date–”With God, all things are possible.” Even if I couldn’t see how.

So I arose and went about my day. Who knows—maybe, somewhere ocean-deep in my heart, I didn’t really believe my dream would come true. In any case, God must have thought I needed a clearer message. So He sent me peacocks.

Peacocks. Four of them.

I live in the Central California coast—like, in a condo, in the middle of an area that has streets, industry, homes. No zoos. No aviaries. The wildest bird I’ve ever seen here was a white dove.

But today there were four magnificent peacocks taking a leisurely stroll across the deck outside my window. All I could do was stare at them. Peacocks.

With beautiful Dasani-blue feathers.

I watched them, bemusedly, till they disappeared. Who knows where they came from or where they went.

A few minutes later, a cable guy knocked on the door. On a Saturday. And we don’t have cable. However, our DSL is coming up for renewal, and we’ve been thinking of changing to cable. That has been my job, to research the services, and discover which company and which plan would give me the bandwidth speed I need for video conferences. I’ve been distracted with this—I’ve been fretting about it, trying to figure it out, worrying that I wouldn’t get it done in time, doubting that it was even possible to get faster internet where we live.

Suddenly, there was the cable guy on my doorstep. He gave us a flyer that had every plan we could possibly need on it. Told us that they would be installing cable in other condos around us next week. Mentioned that there were no contracts to worry about, no installation fees, no prime-time slowdowns of service. Just effectively answered every one of my questions, dispelled my worries, and took the matter out of my hands, giving me exactly what I hoped for.

Peacocks and a cable guy.

When something that unusual happens, I can’t help thinking that there must be a reason. Within moments, it sank in.

With God, all things are possible.

I may think this dream of mine is way out there, too impossible to come true. But so are peacocks in a condo complex. I may think I need to work extra hard, earn my dream, be worthy enough before it can come true—do a whole litany of tasks before I can have what I want. When all along it’s really a gift of God’s grace, which He will lay on my doorstep at exactly…the right…moment.

Dasani blue. Whenever I see it, I’ll think of peacocks, a cable guy, and God’s clear, eclectic voice speaking to me on a sunny Saturday.

With God, anything’s possible.

Even the unlikely.

Photography by Stacy J-M Taylor

Tags: Animals, Faith, Humor, Inspiration, Journal, Musings, Personal by mousewords
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“…obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” ~ Matthew 28:20

After spending too much time working last night, I went to bed way too late, missing my 10pm “quiet time” for relaxing that has been my goal recently. After that, I slept through the morning alarms and woke up late. Immediately I felt anxious, thinking I’d never be able to get everything done today that I should.

I took up my Bible to get a word for the day, thinking to myself that I didn’t have a lot of time to meditate. The Book opened to that verse above, the last verse on the last page of the book of Matthew. I thought, “The Lord is giving me a quick glimpse to help me in my day, without taking a lot of time to read.”

Then I glanced at the next page, the start of Mark. My study Bible starts each book with a description of the author, the historical setting, and the theme of the work. Phrases from this book’s description nearly leapt out at me:

“The main characteristic of this Gospel is action.”

“The book of Mark stresses facts and actions rather than themes or topics. Although it’s the shortest of the four Gospels, it is often the most detailed.”

Action. Take action, do the things I need to do today. My day will be a short one—especially since I must stop at 10, I need that relaxation time—but, like the book of Mark, it can be most detailed.

Stressing “facts and actions” rather than excuses and dilly-dallying, I can do it. I can make this a worthwhile day.

Blog post done, and off I go to do the next thing.

Tags: Faith, Inspiration, Journal, Musings, Personal by mousewords
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There is a subject that has been heavy on my heart for many months now. A recent, feeling post by Jesse Loop has reignited it to the point where words are starting to flow out of my heart and through my fingers.

It’s the subject of the “three-letter-word.”

Brains are whirring. I know, mine did. It’s hard to come up with a foul word that only has three letters. A word that makes you wince inwardly at the mental picture it brings up. A word that leaves a bad taste in your mouth when you think of what it means, and how it is used. A word that many people try not to say in polite company. Yes, that bad.

And mousewords is gonna say it on her blog.

God.

The very thought of God has become detestable to many…because of the way He has been portrayed by those who call themselves His people.

Sexual abuse in the name of God. Child abuse in the name of God. Emotional abuse, spousal abuse. Racial discrimination. Religious intolerance.

Too often, the result is that the victim of abuse recoils from the God whose name was used in the justification of unconscionable actions. Others who witness such abuse and discrimination are disgusted by many so-called “Christians.” The righteousness in their souls shrinks away from being associated with such a “God.”

And people are driven away.

So what do I think when I hear someone say that the actions of others have caused them to turn away from God? Do I think, “You’re doomed.” “You must be a bad person, or you couldn’t say that.” “You better repent pretty fast, or there will be hell to pay (literally).”

No.

When someone turns away from God, my heart cries. Not because of the hellish doom they are facing.

Because of the incredible love they are missing.

And God the Father of all cries with me.

The “sinner” is not the person who has been hurt and has turned away from the thought of God out of revulsion for what has been done in God’s name. The sinner is the one who claims to be a Christian, and yet would do something to harm the body or spirit of another.

The damage may be done out of selfish interests, or out of misguided good intentions. Either way, the result is the same.

One is driven away…and that’s not the one who needs to fear for their eternal soul.

So how do I know this? God said it. When one looks at the Bible, words on paper, one finds a very different perspective from what is often taught by people. Clear the air of complicated prose about damnation, and read the words of Jesus. Among many teachers of God’s law, Jesus was not a popular fella. “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them,” the teachers muttered.

In response to that, Jesus told four stories. Stories of ones who had been lost from the fold, missing for some time, caught up in wild living, or consumed by the love of money. In these stories, Jesus portrays God as He is—One who understands the ways of the world, and does whatever it takes to rescue the lost ones. No condemnation from God—He rejoices at the return of the ones He loves.

Which is to say, everyone.

Those who considered themselves experts on God sneered at this perspective. What Jesus said in response to them still holds true today, for anyone who turns the name of God into a three-letter-word.

“You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God’s sight.”

Those of us who call ourselves Christians, and those of us who have been hurt by ones claiming that name, all need to remember this.

God Himself is really a four-letter-word.

Love.

Tags: Articles, Faith, Inspiration, Internet, Love, Musings, Quotes by mousewords
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I’m new to Twitter—only discovered it last month—but already I’m realizing what an amazing tool it is.  Not only to help me meet interesting people, or keep in better touch with the ones I already know; not only to expand my realization of the world and current events, or to give me an outlet for burning off some of the plethora of minutiae-related thoughts that skitter through my brain every day. 

Not only all that, but one of the best things about Twitter is that…it…um…well, hm. 

What was my point again?  I’m fighting this cold tooth and nail, but it seized my thoughts.  Oh, wait—yes.

One of the best parts of Twitter is being able to track my thinking.

Many thoughts run through my head on a minute-by-minute basis. The sunshine sure does look pretty today, makes me feel brighter inside. I hope @susanreynolds is doing well, my heart is heavy for her but my faith is in the Lord’s healing power. I’ve seen Him do as much for others I know. Thank heavens for peanut butter, it really gives me a boost…and the two heels of bread aren’t really so bad together, it makes it kind of like a sweet roll. Oooh, Tree 63’s playing “Look What You’ve Done,” it’s soooo totally awesome. Those lyrics—I wonder that so often myself. What a pretty melody. Okay, I really need to get working on the book—I need a final target date by February, and that’s a lot closer than it seems. Been a couple months since I sat down and wrestled with it, since I’ve been working on the art and charity things. Wondering how I should start—I want to do a word count and recap, but feeling the pressure, wonder if I should fire in with writing first off? No, recap would be better, probably—get a big look at it, “see” it all at once—where it should go, how it should be—I remember working on my sci-fi book five years ago, just being able to “see” the entire thing all at once…not that I knew what all was going to happen, since ideas came as I worked along; but I could see it. It was clear. No matter how I try to push myself to be normal, sometimes I just wake up and realize what it’s like to have brain damage…it’s not the same as it used to be. It’s all furry in my head…I have to squint to see the stories now. LOL, I need brain glasses. Ah, that would be coffee. Coffee’s here, bless my Mom for bringing it in. Love my family—every one of them. But Lord, I wonder when I’ll find “HIM” and we can start a family of our own. I just know my brain will be better, come that day…not being unrealistic here, I just know. There’s something about happiness that makes everything clear. You can think with your heart, not your grey matter. I probably shouldn’t start thinking about that…I get too sobby. But it’s my heart, what should I do, lock it inside so that it can’t feel anything? Numb it like my nerves after the CO poisoning? I get into that habit sometimes…I’m so used to trying to control wild emotional swings after CO, that “emotion” has become something like “headache.” When you get a headache, you take something to make it go away. My body does the same thing with my emotions nowadays. The minute I start feeling something in my soul, my instinct wants to quickly “take an aspirin,” so to speak, to make it go away. Be strong. Steel the heart. Calm down. Think of something else. By all means don’t break down. But heartfelt longings aren’t the same thing as a mood swing. You’re supposed to feel, you know. You need to. So okay, back to square one: Lord, how do I make my day mean something? How do I not wind up wasting time bobbling around aimlessly…okay, aimlessly, that struck a chord. Write the goals down…keep following the plan. “This is my desire, to go deeper into You,” Tree 63 is singing right now, this very moment. “I am always in your heart. I am not my own.” Whoa, Twitter update, @susanreynolds is out of surgery and in recovery…bless the Lord, Hallelujah, as Tree 63 happens to be singing right now. Oh, no, don’t sing A Million Lights right now…Lord. Sob fest. No, wait, don’t turn off the heart, right?? Just grab a Kleenex. Sigh. Yeah, I knew it, crying. Blink, gulp, take deep breath. What was I thinking again? Oh, yes—oh, that melody is so pretty—I was thinking of Twitter. I read through my month’s worth of—Twitter update, @hackerjay, my baby bro, 6-foot-some-odd hunk of guy, but all baby brother to me. ;-) Leaving work now, it sounds like he has Christmas Vacation. We had Christmas at Thanksgiving with him—wondering what he’ll be doing for Christmas Day? Gotta remember to ask. If not for IM and Twitter, I’d never know what’s going on with my siblings. :-) Ah, and there’s @war2d2, other younger brother, chiming in with “Merry Christmahanukkwanzaka everybody.” hehee. We’ll see him and his wife right after Christmas…oh, dang, I still have to get presents for them. Twitter update—good news about @susanreynolds! Praising the Lord wholeheartedly for that. Okay, back to the thought of Twitter…except I just thought of my book….man, I need to get going on that. I just know it will flow when I sit down and do it…get over that hurdle of facing it. Always does. Man, that will be exciting when it’s done! Will I even know what to do with myself when it is??? Uh…yeah…yes, I will. ;-) Good Lord, there’s so much to do….writing, website, promotion…okay, yes, that voice inside just said “and WORKING,” bless it. :-) That means, GET BACK TO WORK RIGHT NOW. Okay, that reminds me what I was posting about to start with…Twitter gives me a way to track my thoughts in print so I can see what I need to change to make better use of my time, and make improvements in my life. Moment by moment, thought by thought, it’s hard to see the big picture. But when all those thoughts and moments are strung together, they weave a pattern and begin to make some sense. It’s not really my pattern…the Lord has a plan that He’s making. I can’t see it minute by minute…well, that’s not true, yes I can. I know the visions He’s given me for what’s in store for my future…I get too focused on my own failings and weaknesses, and don’t see that He can handle it, He can make something beautiful out of my screw-ups…I just need to keep moving, to work at it. But then I get so afraid…I feel so helpless. I don’t know where to go or what to do…

And that’s when all the words stop.

And He just embraces me in His love.

And He tells me everything’s going to be all right.

I’ll see it when it gets here. Like Tree 63 is singing: “Something invisible has become so beautiful.” And it will be more beautiful than I can possibly imagine.

So now I’m going to get back to work. And I’ll start thinking again.

But a little more quietly now.

Tags: Carbon Monoxide Awareness, Faith, Family, Friends, Inspiration, Internet, Journal, Love, Musings, Personal, Writing by mousewords
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In light of my previous post, this is very ironic! Here is the Daily Word for today:

~~~~~~~~~~

Today’s Daily Word – Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Let Go, Let God

I am a living, loving expression of God’s spirit within me.
In cleaning my house or clearing off my desk, I release items that no longer serve me. The result of less clutter around me brightens the very environment in which I live and work.
It’s just as important for me to do an inner clearing away also, releasing past hurts, negative feelings, uncertainties, and worries. As I release and let go, I open my mind to thoughts of God’s presence. I understand that God is my sufficiency in all things.
Letting go and letting God, I go about being the wise and loving creation of my
Creator that I am meant to be. Centered on the spirit of God within myself and others, I experience and express love, peace, joy, and understanding. I am a living, loving expression of God’s spirit within me.

“For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.”—2 Timothy 1:7

~~~~~~~~~~

Good advice. Now that my closet is taken care of, I’d say it’s time to take another look inside my spirit.

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An eloquent writer in the WordPress community recently posed the challenging question: “If you didn’t know anything about the Kingdom [of God], how would you define it?”

When defining the Kingdom of God, the first verse I think of is part of Luke 17:21: “The Kingdom of God is within you.”

I always drew great hope and comfort from that verse. “The Kingdom of God is within you.” I felt it was a treasure hunt of sorts—it was the Lord telling us that we can look within ourselves and find the holiness of His perfect Kingdom, through the Presence of the Holy Spirit. It made me feel comforted to think of this, because there are times when I feel so inadequate. But then I think to myself, the Kingdom of God is within me, waiting to be discovered! I can do more, through Him Who strengthens me!

Yet who am I, and who’s to say I know what I’m talking about? As I read different perspectives on the subject, I began wondering, what if I’m wrong? When you question something you believe in, and face the thought that it may not be exist in the way you thought it did, it shakes you up inside. It really “rocks” your world, in the earthquake sense of the word.

So I turned to the wisdom of others. I belong to a discussion group in which we discuss the works of 19th/20th century author Grace Livingston Hill; and to this group, I asked the question, “Am I wrong?” Their answers have uplifted, enlightened, and inspired me.

One friend had this commentary, which has helped me find peace and confidence in my own opinion:

“As for this one particular verse, the best way is to go to the original Greek or Hebrew
texts to see what they say. Often, words and phrases in the original text could not be easily translated to English because there just wasn’t anything comparable. I believe it is a mistake to assume that English translations are the final word.

The connotation of a particular phrase can change from Greek to English, or even from Grace’s time to our time. So “within you” may mean something different to you and I than it did to the KJV translators in 1611 and something else to those who wrote down what Jesus said. The huge number of translations is proof that not everyone agrees with everyone else’s interpretation of the original text.

Do you want a perfect example of changing connotation? If I told someone of Grace’s day to “reach out and touch someone”, they would physically touch another person. However, someone from my generation [look out, I'm showing my age] would probably pick up the phone and call someone! There are many other words and phrases that have changed meaning dramatically just in our lifetime—Just read a GLH book to find more! We have to be very careful about reading today’s meaning into yesterday’s writing, especially where the Bible is concerned.

Here’s what I’ve found on BibleGateway.com after reading your post :

Young’s Literal Translation of the Bible by Robert Young is an extremely literal translation that attempts to preserve the tense and word usage as found in the original Greek and Hebrew writings. Here is Luke 17:20-21 in this version, courtesy of BibleGateway.com:

And having been questioned by the Pharisees, when the reign of God doth come, he answered them, and said, `The reign of God doth not come with observation; nor shall they say, Lo, here; or lo, there; for lo, the reign of God is within you.’

The Amplified Bible covers both —the brackets are part of the translation and are not mine. “Nor will people say, Look! Here [it is]! or, See, [it is] there! For behold, the kingdom of God is within you [in your hearts] and among you [surrounding you].

American Standard Version: neither shall they say, Lo, here! or, There! for lo, the kingdom of God is within you.

New Life Version: It will not be said, ‘See, here it is!’ or, ‘There it is!’ For the holy nation of God is in you.”

Wycliffe New Testament: neither they shall say, Lo! here, or lo[!] there; for lo! the realm of God is within you.

Worldwide English New Testament: People will not be able to say, “Look, here it is!” or “There it is! That is because the kingdom of God is inside you.’

Many versions (like NIV) include both “within” and “among” with one or the other as a footnoted possible translation. On BibleGateway, some are saying within and some are saying among, so it looks like the jury is still out.

Jesus did, after all, say specifically that His Kingdom was not of this world in John 18. In Luke, the pharisees were asking about a literal kingdom on earth, but Jesus seems to be pointing out that it couldn’t be seen here or there, it was somewhere that it couldn’t be seen.

Be encouraged and listen to what God is speaking to you. After all, He’s got the FINAL, final word.”

Another friend shared this definition of the Kingdom with me:

“The kingdom of heaven is the church living out the purposes of its king Jesus while we wait his return to rule his kingdom on earth.”

A third friend summed up both perspectives beautifully with her own:

“The Kingdom is within each of us who are true Christians, and the Kingdom will also be an actual happening/place one day in the future for those of us who believe.”

I’m grateful for the question, the challenge to my beliefs, and the wisdom of others. I do believe, as I always have, that Christ’s kingdom will come on earth some day. In the meantime, I hold with confidence to the notion that his Kingdom truly does exist inside us, too.

I know it does, because I have seen it, in all its glory, within others.

Tags: Faith, Friends, Inspiration, Journal, Musings, Personal by mousewords
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Today is World Day of Prayer.  Individuals the world over are coming together as one in their hearts and minds to pray for the goal of “Peace on Earth.” In churches, communities, homes, and between their ears at work, people are focusing on the thought of peace. The thought has an impact—you can feel the very vibrations in your soul. There is power in prayer, and power in positive thinking. Realizing that a blanket of this power is enfolding the earth right now gives a feeling of community and comfort—and strength.

When I awoke today facing a bout of depression, I had forgotten what day it was. I spent way too much time trying to swim through a dark pool of sludge in my emotions and thinking. It’s a side effect of chronic carbon monoxide poisoning—I never know when it’s going to hit me. In a case like this, self-esteem is nonexistent. All I can feel is failure. Hope is there, but I feel unworthy of it. Not only do I feel unable to do the work that is mine to do, but my thoughts tell me I will tank miserably if I even try.

This was my thoughtset as I forced myself to start working. I had to, otherwise I knew the self-condemnation would be worse than ever if I didn’t get anything done today. I sat down at the computer, began checking e-mail, and saw the announcement of World Day of Prayer. At the thought of all those people praying together in the world, I immediately felt the strength of Spirit. And at that, I felt condemned—because, after all, I had spent my morning in pathetic misery, while others were praying for peace with faith and hope. I was worse than worthless.

But I read on, and came to a compelling article by Rosemary Fillmore Rhea. As she spoke of young people from South America and Jamaica who are living in a word plagued by turmoil, I was instantly reminded of the children of Africa, who face the same danger. These children had touched my heart, and I’ve started to try to do my piece to help them. But that was part of the work that I now felt so inadequate to.

Rosemary’s words, however, shook my thinking awake. They told me that regardless of how I am “feeling,” there is necessary work that needs to be done. I need to work despite the darkness or my weakness.

God said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) I never used to like that verse very much—back in the days when I felt strong within. Oddly, though, now that I am without strength of my own, that verse radiates a hope that makes me want to cry with gratitude. Good Lord, I don’t need to do it myself. “Oh, my God,” my heart mumbles. “It’s going to be all right.”

It’s World Day of Prayer. Someplace, somebody is praying for me. And they’re praying for you, too.

The lack of peace is endemic throughout the world—and really, it always has been. But it won’t always be, if we work together. One by one—cause by cause—and prayer by prayer—we truly can win the race, and establish peace on earth. With God’s help, all things are possible.

Even for me.

Tags: Carbon Monoxide Awareness, Faith, Inspiration, Journal, Musings, News, Personal, Quotes by mousewords
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