mousewords

 

 

My Dad and I were discussing the latest drama in the “Luann” comic strip. Two characters are trying to figure out how a third character–who has no obvious means of employment–makes his money. They guessed that he engaged in illegal activities to support himself.

My Dad and I, as we are wont to do with the comics, began discussing the subject with a measure of seriousness.

“I bet he is Mafia,” my Dad postulated. “What do you think he does?”

I pondered the character for a moment, then said, “I think he monetizes his blog with affiliate content.”

[Raised eyebrows from Dad.]

“Ooookaaayy….”

Welcome to a new world, with a new vocabulary.

I don’t usually realize how unusual today’s online vernacular sounds until I speak it out loud to others.

Tweet.

Failwhaling.

I can haz.

Microblogging.

For that matter, blogging.

And a new kid on the grammatical block–plurk.

Each word, however strange and odd, seems to make perfect sense when used in context.

Tweet: Noun or verb. Referencing a status message on the site Twitter.com. As a verb, the act of posting such a message.

Failwhaling : Verb. To break down or fail, especially in reference to a failure to meet expectations. From the whale illustration on the error message that appears when the site Twitter.com temporarily breaks down.

I can haz : I am allowed to possess; or, when used as a question, “May I please have…” From “lolspeak,” originated on Icanhascheezburger.com.

Microblogging : Posting a running stream of thoughts in messages of 140 characters or less on a site such as Twitter.

Blogging : Writing a journal or series of articles on an internet web log site.

Plurk : Noun or verb. The name of a microblogging site, Plurk.com, and also the messages posted. As a verb, the act of posting messages on the site.

So in other words, I can tweet about my wi-fi failwhaling, and plead, “I can haz new router?” then plurk a link to my latest blog post about modern society’s dependence on technology.

Make sense? Kthanksbai.

 

mousewords is moving to its own site soon–Subscribe here!
© 2008 Christine Taylor

Tags: Family, Humor, Internet, Social Media by mousewords
No Comments »

 

Saturday morning. I emerge into the dining room. My Dad looks up with a cheerful expression. “Aha!” he says. It’s nice to be appreciated, but before I get a chance to feel too smug, he pulls out the newspaper. Oh, no.

Pop: “What was the greatest gift given to America by France?”

Isaac Asimov’s genius quiz. Groan.

Me: “Statue of Liberty.”

Pop: “That’s what I say, too. Who was famous for crossing the Rubicon?”

Me: “Groan.” (audible) “I need coffee before I can deal with this.”

I continue on into the kitchen. Pop is undaunted.

Pop: “Come on. Who was famous for crossing the Rubicon?”

Me: “Ernő Rubik.”

Pop: “Ernő Rubik?”

Me: (sarcasm) “Oh, wait, he was famous for the Rubik’s Cube.”

Pop: (Brief grin.) “I think it had something to do with Kipling.”

I shrug and pour my coffee.

Pop: “Who ruled Spain from 1939 to 1975?”

Silence.

Pop: “Who was the Soviet leader during the Cuban Missile Crisis?”

I remain silent on this one, letting him have it. He was in the service during the Missile Crisis, after all. Surely he…

Pop: “Gorbachev.”

Me: (Stunned) “Um… Khrushchev.”

Pop: “Ooh, right! Very good.”

Me: “You want to know the impressively intelligent reason I know that answer?”

Pop: “What?”

Me: “When we were growing up, you had that book of political photo cartoons, and Krushchev was in it. It stuck with me.”

Pop grins. Moves on.

Pop: “Who allegedly killed officer JD Tippit?”

I have a vague feeling this is related to the TV show “Dallas.”

Pop: “What country was Leon Trotsky assassinated in?” Silence.

Pop: “During what war did the battle of Jutland take place?” Silence.

Pop: (Looking up at me in disbelief) “Who knows this kind of stuff??”

Me: “What’s worse: knowing it…or not knowing any of it?”

Pop: “We knew the Statue of Liberty.”

Me: “True.”

We continue. We have FAIL. Pop reads the answers. We got the Statue of Liberty right. Oh, and Krushchev. But the Rubicon?

Pop: “Huh. It wasn’t Kipling. Julius Caesar was famous for crossing the Rubicon. I thought he was famous for ‘Nobody sees her like Julius Caesar.’”

Me: (Finally admitting) “I’ve never even heard of the Rubicon!”

Pop: “It’s famous. Julius crossed it.”

Mom walks in the room.

Pop: “Who was famous for crossing the Rubicon?”

Mom: (Blank stare)

Pop: “It’s a river in Italy. Don’t feel bad, I thought it was something Kipling wrote.”

Nobody tell Asimov, okay?

 

Tags: Family, Humor by mousewords
No Comments »

 

 

As I awoke this morning, my thoughts filled with a certain dream of mine. Not the singing-the-National-Anthem at-a-Dodgers-game in-your-skivvies kind of dream. The goal-in-your-heart kind of dream. The one that fills your waking hours, and sometimes seems as unlikely to occur as the Nation Anthem solo.

This was a morning when the dream seemed far from being achieved…mostly because of my own shortcomings, as I see them. It can take a long time to wait for a dream. After a while, waiting becomes the status quo; and it begins to seem as if the dream will never be anything more than its name.

I turned over to take up my Bible for morning meditation. As I did, my eyes fell on a Dasani water bottle on my nightstand. Sunlight filtered through the semi-transparent label, catching my attention with a beautiful blue-green color. I had a passing thought that it would be a lovely color to use in one of my art pieces; then picked up my Bible, said a prayer, and opened to a random page.

Nothing is ever random in God’s universe. I found myself looking at Ezekiel 39:8: “It is coming! It will surely take place, declares the Sovereign Lord. This is the day I have spoken of.”

A little ripple of shock, followed by excitement, went through my heart. The Lord had heard me, and was telling me that my dream would come true. It reminded me of the Daily Word devotional for this date–”With God, all things are possible.” Even if I couldn’t see how.

So I arose and went about my day. Who knows—maybe, somewhere ocean-deep in my heart, I didn’t really believe my dream would come true. In any case, God must have thought I needed a clearer message. So He sent me peacocks.

Peacocks. Four of them.

I live in the Central California coast—like, in a condo, in the middle of an area that has streets, industry, homes. No zoos. No aviaries. The wildest bird I’ve ever seen here was a white dove.

But today there were four magnificent peacocks taking a leisurely stroll across the deck outside my window. All I could do was stare at them. Peacocks.

With beautiful Dasani-blue feathers.

I watched them, bemusedly, till they disappeared. Who knows where they came from or where they went.

A few minutes later, a cable guy knocked on the door. On a Saturday. And we don’t have cable. However, our DSL is coming up for renewal, and we’ve been thinking of changing to cable. That has been my job, to research the services, and discover which company and which plan would give me the bandwidth speed I need for video conferences. I’ve been distracted with this—I’ve been fretting about it, trying to figure it out, worrying that I wouldn’t get it done in time, doubting that it was even possible to get faster internet where we live.

Suddenly, there was the cable guy on my doorstep. He gave us a flyer that had every plan we could possibly need on it. Told us that they would be installing cable in other condos around us next week. Mentioned that there were no contracts to worry about, no installation fees, no prime-time slowdowns of service. Just effectively answered every one of my questions, dispelled my worries, and took the matter out of my hands, giving me exactly what I hoped for.

Peacocks and a cable guy.

When something that unusual happens, I can’t help thinking that there must be a reason. Within moments, it sank in.

With God, all things are possible.

I may think this dream of mine is way out there, too impossible to come true. But so are peacocks in a condo complex. I may think I need to work extra hard, earn my dream, be worthy enough before it can come true—do a whole litany of tasks before I can have what I want. When all along it’s really a gift of God’s grace, which He will lay on my doorstep at exactly…the right…moment.

Dasani blue. Whenever I see it, I’ll think of peacocks, a cable guy, and God’s clear, eclectic voice speaking to me on a sunny Saturday.

With God, anything’s possible.

Even the unlikely.

 

Photography by Stacy J-M Taylor

 

Tags: Animals, Faith, Humor, Inspiration, Journal, Musings, Personal by mousewords
10 Comments »

 

 

So I bought some new shoes the other day.

I love to shop, but sometimes buying eludes me. I’m notorious for being indecisive in the area of my wardrobe. I often wind making unwise purchases in a last-minute rush as the store closes. That means I’ll be back shopping again soon, after I realize the outfit I put together is really pathetic.

Even when I can make a decision, there has to be a catch. Like the last time I went shopping for shoes. Big decision–shoe shopping is the bane of my wardrobe-building existence. One of my feet is half a size smaller than the other, so one shoe of the two is always going to be either cramped or loose. For this reason, I’ll put off purchasing new shoes until even I am ashamed of the old ones.

What a coincidence, at the very time I made my decision, the department store was offering shoes for sale. I couldn’t in good conscience put off the necessity any longer. I broke down and began looking.

So there I was, trying on shoes. Boots, to be precise. Since I needed footgear anyway, I decided I wanted a pair of stylish boots, with a good-sized heel. However, despite my resolution, my notorious shopping reputation was with me that day. When the afternoon drew to a close and I was still walking around the department store in stocking feet, I began to think it wasn’t in my destiny to own shoes that looked good and were comfortable at the same time.

Then, suddenly, I laid eyes on them. Brown leather ankle boots, with a nice tall heel. I tugged them onto my feet, wondering to myself if this was the day that would actually find me making a successful shoe purchase. Ah ha, no such luck. The boots looked great. Problem was, one foot was uncomfortable. Yes, I know, no surprise, right? But I mean, this was really uncomfortable. It was like…all bunchy. I walked around in those boots for half an hour, while I looked for my other options. But there weren’t any.

Then I heard the familiar call–”Ten minutes to closing.” Driven yet again to making an adrenaline-inspired purchase, I decided to take the boots, telling myself what one usually tells oneself when buying shoes: “They never feel right in the store, anyway.” “I’ll try them at home with different socks.” “They’ll conform to my foot…eventually.”

Newly confident in my self-delusion, I removed the boots and headed to the checkout. It was only when I was standing in line that I happened to look down inside the boot I was holding. I reached my hand down into the footwear and pulled out a clear plastic form, which hugged the entire inside area of the boot and extended up the ankle. It was meant to keep the boot’s shape for display. I’d been walking around the store with that thing in my shoe for half an hour.

I put the boot back on, right then and there, WITHOUT the plastic form.

You know, those are some of the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever owned.

My ego, however, still hurts.

 

Tags: Fashion and Beauty, Humor, Journal, Musings, Personal by mousewords
No Comments »

 

People are amazing. This was so cool.

 

 

Tags: Humor, Video by mousewords
No Comments »

In here there be many tales to tell, says I…

Tide of Tales ACEO

 

This be me celebration for “Talk Like a Pirate Day”…arrr
They say dead men tell no tales…but live ones be sure to go on about their adventures…

 

Tags: Art, Comics, Fairy Tales, Humor by mousewords
No Comments »